Nov. 3, 2003: Blast from the past
Started the morning by replying to Jeff's implied invitation for an audition: "… a celebration might indeed be in order. What'd you have in mind?"
I'm a little disappointed I haven't heard from Ed. I'm already overly excited at the prospect he presents. I received one email from the guy and I'm already setting myself up for disappointment. Nothing from OREGONGUY either, but that doesn't matter—was I really supposed to sit around waiting for his word? PILOT819 has a photo now—unshaven with a dark mustache. Doesn't change my mind.
Also nothing from the various EHers from whom I've requested communication. In fact, I should check to see if any have closed me down. Yep—Dave, the psychologist who sounded so good, shot me down because "the difference in our values is too great." I'm sure that's a kid-related rejection, but the wording is so harsh. It can't help but come as a judgment: "Sorry, your values are inferior to mine" or "I could never date someone with such low values, and I can't imagine anyone would. You should probably just give up." OK—I'm reading too much into it, I know. But he could as easily have selected the option "Based on statements in their profile, I'm not interested in this match."
Just for the hell of it, I requested communication from the latest EH match, David from Evanston, a 36-year-old financial advisor. He has a four-year-old son, but it's not like any of these guys are interested in me anyway, so it doesn't really matter. I hold out some hope that guys who already have children would be more willing to accept my feelings about having kids—surely, they can be satisfied with what they have, right?
So, back to Big10fan from Match. According to his profile, he's 6'3” and likes travel, bookstores, and sports and is looking for a woman with intelligence and humor. Those, I can provide. He has a master's degree and a good job. Cons—he's conservative and lives in Mt. Prospect. And then there's the two conflicting photos. May as well reply.
Yesterday's Emode Icebreaker came from a 41-year-old in Lake in the Hills. I really am trying to broaden my horizons, but Lake in the Hills won't work for me, especially when combined with his age and his interest in “just dating.” He does seem like a reasonable prospect. Then, again, he used the lame Icebreaker approach. And I checked an atlas—LIH is FAR.
Also got a weird, kind of rambling and definitely repetitive email from a Match fella who's an attorney. He says he lives in Libertyville/Grayslake/Lake Forest, which cuts a pretty wide swath, none of it nearby or very accessible. His profile actually puts him in Gurnee. He gave his personal email address, which includes his full name, so I googled him. He's a partner in a law firm in Waukegan. Among other tidbits, he's being sued by Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance, for extortion because he represented a woman who accused Flatley of rape. She dropped her case, but it appears that Flatley's suit is continuing. Anyway, his email looks like he cut and paste several standard opening messages, all into one message. It starts off normally enough, if boilerplate, but then veers into a long P.S., which includes some nonsense about the Supreme Court and the definition of love. I'm not sure but I think he's actually citing that definition of porn: "I know it when I see it." I eventually looked at his profile, and it appears to be the source of his email text—cut and paste, baby. And he's 5'8”.
***
Just this morning, I deleted all of MARK784's going-nowhere emails from my MM mailbox, and what do you know—today, he writes again. Another one-line answer (with emoticon—his signature style). I'm not going to bother to reply. Or maybe I'll reply with "let's get a drink—this isn't getting us anywhere." But, hey—I'm willing to write. He's the poor "typer," so he should make that proposal. OK—one more one-line reply from me, with no reference to meeting, and that's it.
Mark replied immediately, and with two whole lines—such progress. "How are the dates going?" he asks. I replied: "Let's just say … I'm still on the site. You?" Are we finally moving in the right direction here? Stay tuned.
Two new emails in MM, from MATTHEW262 and VERYSECURE991 (he’s a repeat customer, having first written in September). And two more Emode Icebreakers just arrived. What's going on? Did my profile editing, to downplay my sporty side, make that much of a difference?
I didn't bother changing it in Emode, though. I'm tempted to re-up for a month, although, as I told Ray on our one, fateful evening, he was pretty much the only normal guy I came across on there. Truth be told, I kind of want to do it just so I can email a guy who "wants to meet me," a prospective mutual match. In the small online world, it's someone I recognize, a guy who worked at a bar where I spent an inordinate amount of time in college. I'm sure he doesn't recognize me (but he must have seen that I went to the same college as he), but I recognized him right away. He seems to have lost his mullet (as I have long lost my modified, late-'80s femi-mullet). I'm not interested; I just want to freak him out with "Didn't you tend bar at O'D's?" He's not someone I remember fondly—he was very arrogant and condescending (except for the hot girls, of course, and cool guys) and walked like he had a stick up his ass. He was under the mistaken impression that he was hot shit. He played rugby, but that didn't stop the speculation over his sexual preference.
People change, of course—I certainly have—and his profile isn't off-putting at all. Good photo. I'm curious about our compatibility score (why? it's hardly scientific!), but I can't access that without subscribing. Now, if this was fiction, I'd write him and eventually we'd fall in love. This isn't fiction. And yet …
Back in MM, VERYSECURE is also very presumptuous. "Can we meet for dinner or drink sometime?" Um…how would I recognize you, without a photo? Oh, yeah—you'd be the 5'9” guy of "other ethnic variance" who weighs about the same as me. No thanks. Oh, and his email is SUPERNICE@yahoo.com. Quite the self-promoter.
MATTHEW just wanted to say hi and that I seem quite interesting. He, too, is 5'9”-5'10”, but he's 41-45 and looks older, and lives in Lake Forest. Seems nice enough, and actually referred to a somewhat obscure singer-songwriter I like, but his photo, height, and age turn me off. I'm shallow like that.
Ewww!! I opened one of the Emode Icebreakers, and the guy is shirtless in his photo. That's all I need to see. Buh-bye! The other one doesn't include a photo (a relief after the other) and appears to have checked at least four of the message options. He's 46 and lives in McHenry. I knew there was a reason I cancelled Emode.
So I haven't heard from Barry since his last email. I think if I don't hear from him by tomorrow, I won't hear at all (I catch on fast, don't I?). Lots of possible explanations could account for this—he may have met someone and hit it off, my shine may have faded over time, he may have been put off by my email last week, he might just have decided not to bother. Who knows? He could even think he's insulted me by waiting so long and I wouldn't want to go out with him anyway (if he only knew). Whatever the answer, it doesn't make it any less of a drag.
***
Hmmm. I don't really like Short Jeff's reply to my email where I asked what he had in mind for getting together: "hell I don't know … a few drinks might do the trick." I'm going to assume he was trying to come off as easy-going, instead of scornful, but I think I'll make him come to me for those drinks. I'll ask him when he's in the city. Initially, I figured I would offer to meet him halfway. But no.
I was really visiting MM to see if Ed had replied, which he hasn't. But the MM stalker feature let me see that he hadn't opened my last email yet. Neither has BELDEN, the self-described overweight guy.Tim (big10fan) replied earlier. It's mainly just travel talk, but he did make a Brady Bunch reference, which I caught myself nodding to and gives me a jumping off point for a little humor, not to mention a non-sports topic. I replied with more travel stuff and asked him about college basketball. I told him how I went to MU but don't really pay attention until March Madness. Turns out he went to MU, too. Two Marquette guys in one day—very weird. He graduated the same year as I and with the same major. I'm growing nervous.
I'm a little disappointed I haven't heard from Ed. I'm already overly excited at the prospect he presents. I received one email from the guy and I'm already setting myself up for disappointment. Nothing from OREGONGUY either, but that doesn't matter—was I really supposed to sit around waiting for his word? PILOT819 has a photo now—unshaven with a dark mustache. Doesn't change my mind.
Also nothing from the various EHers from whom I've requested communication. In fact, I should check to see if any have closed me down. Yep—Dave, the psychologist who sounded so good, shot me down because "the difference in our values is too great." I'm sure that's a kid-related rejection, but the wording is so harsh. It can't help but come as a judgment: "Sorry, your values are inferior to mine" or "I could never date someone with such low values, and I can't imagine anyone would. You should probably just give up." OK—I'm reading too much into it, I know. But he could as easily have selected the option "Based on statements in their profile, I'm not interested in this match."
Just for the hell of it, I requested communication from the latest EH match, David from Evanston, a 36-year-old financial advisor. He has a four-year-old son, but it's not like any of these guys are interested in me anyway, so it doesn't really matter. I hold out some hope that guys who already have children would be more willing to accept my feelings about having kids—surely, they can be satisfied with what they have, right?
So, back to Big10fan from Match. According to his profile, he's 6'3” and likes travel, bookstores, and sports and is looking for a woman with intelligence and humor. Those, I can provide. He has a master's degree and a good job. Cons—he's conservative and lives in Mt. Prospect. And then there's the two conflicting photos. May as well reply.
Yesterday's Emode Icebreaker came from a 41-year-old in Lake in the Hills. I really am trying to broaden my horizons, but Lake in the Hills won't work for me, especially when combined with his age and his interest in “just dating.” He does seem like a reasonable prospect. Then, again, he used the lame Icebreaker approach. And I checked an atlas—LIH is FAR.
Also got a weird, kind of rambling and definitely repetitive email from a Match fella who's an attorney. He says he lives in Libertyville/Grayslake/Lake Forest, which cuts a pretty wide swath, none of it nearby or very accessible. His profile actually puts him in Gurnee. He gave his personal email address, which includes his full name, so I googled him. He's a partner in a law firm in Waukegan. Among other tidbits, he's being sued by Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance, for extortion because he represented a woman who accused Flatley of rape. She dropped her case, but it appears that Flatley's suit is continuing. Anyway, his email looks like he cut and paste several standard opening messages, all into one message. It starts off normally enough, if boilerplate, but then veers into a long P.S., which includes some nonsense about the Supreme Court and the definition of love. I'm not sure but I think he's actually citing that definition of porn: "I know it when I see it." I eventually looked at his profile, and it appears to be the source of his email text—cut and paste, baby. And he's 5'8”.
***
Just this morning, I deleted all of MARK784's going-nowhere emails from my MM mailbox, and what do you know—today, he writes again. Another one-line answer (with emoticon—his signature style). I'm not going to bother to reply. Or maybe I'll reply with "let's get a drink—this isn't getting us anywhere." But, hey—I'm willing to write. He's the poor "typer," so he should make that proposal. OK—one more one-line reply from me, with no reference to meeting, and that's it.
Mark replied immediately, and with two whole lines—such progress. "How are the dates going?" he asks. I replied: "Let's just say … I'm still on the site. You?" Are we finally moving in the right direction here? Stay tuned.
Two new emails in MM, from MATTHEW262 and VERYSECURE991 (he’s a repeat customer, having first written in September). And two more Emode Icebreakers just arrived. What's going on? Did my profile editing, to downplay my sporty side, make that much of a difference?
I didn't bother changing it in Emode, though. I'm tempted to re-up for a month, although, as I told Ray on our one, fateful evening, he was pretty much the only normal guy I came across on there. Truth be told, I kind of want to do it just so I can email a guy who "wants to meet me," a prospective mutual match. In the small online world, it's someone I recognize, a guy who worked at a bar where I spent an inordinate amount of time in college. I'm sure he doesn't recognize me (but he must have seen that I went to the same college as he), but I recognized him right away. He seems to have lost his mullet (as I have long lost my modified, late-'80s femi-mullet). I'm not interested; I just want to freak him out with "Didn't you tend bar at O'D's?" He's not someone I remember fondly—he was very arrogant and condescending (except for the hot girls, of course, and cool guys) and walked like he had a stick up his ass. He was under the mistaken impression that he was hot shit. He played rugby, but that didn't stop the speculation over his sexual preference.
People change, of course—I certainly have—and his profile isn't off-putting at all. Good photo. I'm curious about our compatibility score (why? it's hardly scientific!), but I can't access that without subscribing. Now, if this was fiction, I'd write him and eventually we'd fall in love. This isn't fiction. And yet …
Back in MM, VERYSECURE is also very presumptuous. "Can we meet for dinner or drink sometime?" Um…how would I recognize you, without a photo? Oh, yeah—you'd be the 5'9” guy of "other ethnic variance" who weighs about the same as me. No thanks. Oh, and his email is SUPERNICE@yahoo.com. Quite the self-promoter.
MATTHEW just wanted to say hi and that I seem quite interesting. He, too, is 5'9”-5'10”, but he's 41-45 and looks older, and lives in Lake Forest. Seems nice enough, and actually referred to a somewhat obscure singer-songwriter I like, but his photo, height, and age turn me off. I'm shallow like that.
Ewww!! I opened one of the Emode Icebreakers, and the guy is shirtless in his photo. That's all I need to see. Buh-bye! The other one doesn't include a photo (a relief after the other) and appears to have checked at least four of the message options. He's 46 and lives in McHenry. I knew there was a reason I cancelled Emode.
So I haven't heard from Barry since his last email. I think if I don't hear from him by tomorrow, I won't hear at all (I catch on fast, don't I?). Lots of possible explanations could account for this—he may have met someone and hit it off, my shine may have faded over time, he may have been put off by my email last week, he might just have decided not to bother. Who knows? He could even think he's insulted me by waiting so long and I wouldn't want to go out with him anyway (if he only knew). Whatever the answer, it doesn't make it any less of a drag.
***
Hmmm. I don't really like Short Jeff's reply to my email where I asked what he had in mind for getting together: "hell I don't know … a few drinks might do the trick." I'm going to assume he was trying to come off as easy-going, instead of scornful, but I think I'll make him come to me for those drinks. I'll ask him when he's in the city. Initially, I figured I would offer to meet him halfway. But no.
I was really visiting MM to see if Ed had replied, which he hasn't. But the MM stalker feature let me see that he hadn't opened my last email yet. Neither has BELDEN, the self-described overweight guy.Tim (big10fan) replied earlier. It's mainly just travel talk, but he did make a Brady Bunch reference, which I caught myself nodding to and gives me a jumping off point for a little humor, not to mention a non-sports topic. I replied with more travel stuff and asked him about college basketball. I told him how I went to MU but don't really pay attention until March Madness. Turns out he went to MU, too. Two Marquette guys in one day—very weird. He graduated the same year as I and with the same major. I'm growing nervous.
posted by Bemused @ 8:24 AM
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