Dec. 1, 2003: Letting me down gently (or not)

Things look better today. In Yahoo, I've received responses from gm_us2003 (or Greg, who's 34, 6'3", and lives in Palatine) and bullsfan1967. Greg vacations regularly in Florida, reads two or three books a week, and listens to news radio while commuting (close enough to NPR for me). And he lives adjacent to a golf course. So far, so good.

Oops, spoke too soon. The Bulls fan responded but only to shoot me down:

"Hi, Thank you for your email, but I read your profile and don't feel we match up together. Good luck in your search.- Tim"

I'm not sure how I feel about that. I guess it's better than the "our values don't match" option in EH, and most people (including myself) wouldn't have bothered replying at all if they felt this way. So I guess he was being considerate, but it still feels insulting, somehow. Not sure why.

Yahoo held a couple Icebreakers, too, but neither of them moved me to break my rule on guys who can't even write their own introductory message. It didn't help that one of them used the word "conversate" in his profile. And nothing from Greg I or JoePro.

I've seen my first Match action in a while, with three emails waiting for me, including one from a guy I wrote this weekend, talljungguy. His real name is James (it has always bothered me when guys use their full names, rather than the shortened version—strikes me as pretentious—but, hey, I'm all about being more open-minded this round, so …). He teaches at De Paul, lives in Lincoln Square, and said I've been on his "Favorites" list in Match for some time. Apparently, I closely resemble one of his cousins. He has a daughter who lives in another state, as do his parents—very good. He's also a reader and very liberal, so I can overlook the fondness for yoga. Anyway, he already suggested meeting. I wrote back, talking about how much I love his neighborhood and explaining my Midwestern roots, but I didn't mention getting together. I'm not averse to the idea, but let him propose it again so I don't seem quite so easy.

One of the other Match emails came from a 21-year-old, built750. According to his profile, he lives in Chicago but goes to school out East, so he's available there, too (flexibility is so important). I'm not quite at the Mrs. Robinson stage yet, but I suppose I should be flattered. And he did write a good email:

"Hey-I saw your profile and you seem to be a really funloving, confidant woman. Intelligence and sense of humor are key, so I was glad to see that you're big on those, too. I'm sure you kno how annoying it is to be with people who don't 'get it.'

I don't have to go onto looks, because you're obviously beautiful, so we can leave that one as it is :-) Overall, I was very impressed and would love to get to know you better.

I left my contact info above because I wasn't sure if you're a member or not, but either way, you can catch me there (JSlick750@aol.com). All the details are in my profile, and any other questions are more than welcome. Thanks for reading, I hope to hear from you soon,Jason"

Oh, geez—the other Match email is from a guy who lives in Anchorage. Yep—Alaska. He said he couldn't resist writing me because he grew up in Illinois. Sorry, sir, but that's not enough for me, especially since you're 5'5". Does he really think a woman half a foot taller than him would want to take up correspondence with him in Alaska, via a dating site?
***
I figured out what bothered me about the Bulls fan's response. When I tried online dating the first time, I felt obligated to respond to anyone who wrote me, even if I wasn't interested, which may be his approach as well. But I always let the guys down gently (in my mind, anyway). I never said I wasn't attracted to their photos or that they were too short or old or that their profiles were repellant. Basically, I lied—I'd say I was taking a break or had started seeing someone. The way bullsfan put it—that he didn't think we matched up—carries conceivably insulting implications (e.g., "you're not good enough for me").

Whatever. Getting back to real life, I emailed Tim yesterday, apologizing for missing his call, hoping he had a good trip, telling him about the Bears game. He hasn't written back, but maybe I'll call him tonight. I'm more inclined just to see what he does, though, so I might not call. Oh what games I play.