In Jeans or a Dress: Misadventures in Online Dating

Follow the ups and downs of one woman's plunge into the world of online dating. Using journal entries, e-mail excerpts, and dater profiles, In Jeans or a Dress cuts through the spin to show the realities of online dating, positive and negative. My six months of online dating experiences are set against the backdrop of my struggle to find a place for myself between the growing minority that says it's okay to be single and the still-overwhelming majority that says it is not.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Dec. 16, 2003: Joe to the World

Cool—I got my "perfect world" wish last night—Joe called while I was out. I came home around 10pm and found a voicemail from Joe. He said he was calling to see how my weekend was, chat, and see what my schedule is like later this week. I like the implication there. I called him back but no answer, so I left a friendly, upbeat message, along with my daytime number. I continue to really like his voice, and I'm letting myself feel moderately excited about going out with him again. Careful, though—you never know who might be the next Matt.

Alan and Tim both replied to my emails of yesterday. Alan grew up in Texas and has no family in Chicago—I always like that. He wrote that he's headed out of town today but would like to give me a call when he returns. I'll send him my number. Tim explained how he ended up in the Twin Cities for 12 years (closest city to his college) and filled me in on some of his non-baseball interests. He also asked about mine, and what I do for a living. Easy enough to respond.

Good grief—I've now had over 3,000 hits on my Match profile, according to the counter. What's the problem, fellas? What is it that makes you move on to the next profile, with nary a word to me?

EH found me another match—can I really say that when I've yet to even talk with one of these guys?—a 6'1" trader from Chicago. He's 45, though, with no photos, and he didn't respond to a lot of the questions.

Two new Icebreakers in Yahoo. The first guy is a biker (as in Harley, not Trek) and writes "TATTOOS A PLUS BUT NOT A NECESSITY." Well, that's a relief. I noticed that he took advantage of the Yahoo feature where you can post some "conversations starters," such as "do you have any piercings or tattoos?," which he asks. I find it kind of ironic that someone who sends a canned Icebreaker would include conversation starters.

The second guy sounds all right—lots of travel and outdoor activities, starting his own business, likes literature and movies. But he's 5'10", lives in a far west suburb, wants kids, and writes in his profile that "to get me to watch sports would require leather straps and those Clockwork Orange eyelid things." Probably wouldn't work out.
***
Yea! Joe just called on my work line. He wants to get together this week, so we settled on Thursday night. He's scanning the Reader and said he'd get back to me with more info. How very date-y. I'm not sure whether he's looking for a good restaurant or a show or what, but I'm fairly psyched. It's cool that he called me this morning, instead of waiting until tonight, and that he's putting some effort into this—I'm usually the one who does that. I'll probably grow somewhat nervous when it gets closer—I mean, it's kind of make-or-break as to whether anything will follow—but I'm hoping I can hold off that apprehension for a day or two.

Emode sent me four members who match my criteria. The first one is Ray. Grrr.

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