tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10971908.post-1117634553980997142005-06-01T08:40:00.000-05:002005-06-01T09:02:33.986-05:00Over in MM, I have an email from BOOKLOCK256. He's on the short side, at 5'9"-5'10", but calls himself a "recovering lawyer," who quit cold turkey to pursue freelance writing, and boasts of a 1,000+ book library. In-ter-esting. Ah—the rest of his profile reveals that he drinks "like a fish," is usually late, and says he's "the spitting image of TV's Ray Romano." He's a self-described procrastinator, lives with roommates, and wants kids. And then he writes: "I'm pretty sure that my pathetic golf game, iffy driving skills, and the couple inches in height I'd be spotting you wouldn't make for a great date." In other words, he's only looking for some career transition advice. "I'd be happy to buy a few drinks for advice," he adds. Sorry, friend—it's not mentor.com.<br /><br />EH sent a new match—Mike is 33, 6'2", lives in the western suburbs, and has a son. He wears a sombrero in one of his photos but at least he has photos. He mentions the son several times but also writes "while my son is very important to me, I only see him two weekends a month. I feel this leaves plenty of time to pursue other interests and meet new people." Nice how he's managed to fit his son in around his other interests. Now that's what I call fatherhood. I'm going to leave him be.<br /> <br />Three Yahoo Icebreakers. Chivalryliveshere has his two daughters in his photo—nice, but a turnoff. Suretopleaseyou is sure to be too short—5'9". Sircelticknight smokes, lives almost an hour away, wears a tank top in one photo, and uses a blurry, Photoshop border effect on another. He might be the proud owner of some plugs, too. Yes—I'm a bitch. But the guy couldn't even drop me a note, so I don't owe him any consideration. At least that's how I look at it. <br /><br />Mike replied to my thank-you note with a pink slip—just a "you're welcome" and "made it out of Green Bay alive." Of course, my thank-you didn't refer to meeting up again, either. So we're both ambivalent, apparently.<br /><br />Other than that, there's not much going on. I've tackled most of my Christmas shopping, so now I'll turn to my other shopping. It almost seems foolish—even if I get a bite, will anyone really be able to meet before the holidays? If not, can I keep interest going over the holidays with someone? Well, I'll take one or two more shopping outings but go on hiatus around the 19th until 2004.<br /><br />Over in Match, I have quite a few winks, but none with any merit, whether because of age, location, or just the fact they couldn't write. Match tells me that I've been browsed (sounds ticklish, doesn't it?) 2,867 times. Wow—that's a whole lot of guys who didn't like what they saw in my profile. Well, Match came up with about 230 guys who fit my criteria, so someone should stand out. Besides Pot-Smoking Mike, who of course pops up on the first page.<br /><br />Hah! This guy is 6'8" (there is such a thing as too tall) and has a long mullet, but his text is great:<br /><br />"Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear. Romance is my middle name, and enchanted evenings in the tub, with me shaving your legs and you shaving my back are a favorite of mine. I hate my job as a hot dog vendor, so it would be cool if you had some cash for us to enjoy. I often find myself spending weekends searching for that missing back-issue of Captain Kryptonite, or donning my Spock ears and heading off to the local trek convention. 'Live long and prosper.'<br /><br />I'm looking for a hottie who enjoys the finer things in life - Pop-tarts, Silly-putty, The Captain and Tenile. I tend to be very attracted to well-defined knees. I have enough flab for both of us, so you should be skinny. Please describe yourself in detail if you want a response ..."<br /><br />One guy in Match held some promise, as a Cub fan who loves the lakeshore, exercising, eating out, and theater. At the same time, he writes, "I do like my independence and do like to go out with my friends without you." Not a problem. But then he writes:<br /><br />"A person that loves & likes me for who I am. You will be a person that likes doing the things that I like doing. No photo, no response. You are an attractive, fun, beautiful person that is very independent but at the same time totally into being with me."<br /><br />His tone is horribly abrasive, and he sounds a bit controlling, if not needy. And yet, I'm considering writing because I think I fit a lot of his criteria:<br /><br />"You like to go out to eat, go to movies, go to a ballgame on occasion, go out and have a drink every once in a while and just have fun being with me. You also like to take long walks on the lakefront holding hands. You love my company and being with me, but I am not your only source of entertainment. You also go out with your friends without me. You are also looking to get married within the next couple of years."<br /><br />But reading on, I see he actually lives across from Wrigley Field, with roommates. Isn't he a little old for that, at 38? May as well write—it's not like I'm going to marry the guy. I probably won't even get a reply, so no need to bother with such minutiae. In fact, I'm going balls-out, even revealing that I went to more than 40 Cubs games this year, including playoffs and spring training. That should freak him out.<br /> <br />I ended up reaching out to three Match guys. I wasn't very forgiving as far as location but made concessions for guys with kids and roommates. That's something, right? I'll widen my search in 2004, but I'm also hoping the new year will prompt some new people to enroll. I'm seeing a lot of familiar faces in the profiles.Bemusednoreply@blogger.com