Jan. 2, 2004: An embarrassment of Riches

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10971908.post-1120090784661635862005-06-29T18:23:00.000-05:002005-06-29T19:19:44.673-05:00Jan. 2, 2004: An embarrassment of RichesI'm sitting here shivering and drenched in sweat. My nylon running pants stick to my legs, and my cotton t-shirt clings to my back. Unfortunately, though, I haven't worked out since yesterday afternoon. This condensation is the result of merely walking around the neighborhood running errands. True, it's 50 degrees outside, but I fear it's more symptomatic of becoming sick. Now that I'm back home, I don't feel so feverish (more chilled, actually, and achy, which probably aren't much better), but I can tell a bad cold is settling in, and the timing is bad—tonight is my second date with Joe. He called me yesterday around 4:30pm. He hadn't replied to the email I sent him on New Year's Eve, so I of course was resigning myself to being blown off again. But, no—he's picking me up tonight, and we're going to an Italian restaurant in Lakeview, Lucca's. I looked it up online, and the reader reviews are glowing, using words like intimate, charming, and even romantic. I tried to check out the Zagat's rating because Joe said he used the Zagat's guide to find it, but you need a subscription to access the review. I wanted to see if Zagat's called it romantic—it'd be nice if Joe looked for that quality when selecting a place. We didn't make plans for after dinner. Possibly drinks back at my place? I don't want to cancel, so I've popped some Day-Quil and will take some more as dinner approaches—with a couple drinks, I could be an especially fun, or noodle-like, date. I wouldn't want to cancel and seem like I was canceling as passive-aggressive revenge for his earlier cancellation, or, more accurately, postponement, plus I really want to see him. I'm dying to find out if I get that same feeling I had the first time we met. And it's been too long—more than three weeks. On the other hand, I'm seeing the impending illness as a wonderful excuse to cancel with Alan for tomorrow night. I sent him an email on New Year's Eve, too—just some fluff about his alma mater's bowl game—and he hasn't responded. Maybe he's realizing he deserves a little more excitement on his date's part. If I do cancel, I hope I have the guts to do it by phone, not email. Rich in EH sent his must-haves and can't-stands. His must-haves include "a partner who is committed to marriage, home, and family.” As I've said before, I read that as wanting kids. I like his short-answer questions, though; he didn't use any off the provided list. Instead, he asked about my New Year's and if I made any resolutions; which CDs are in my player right now; and which vacation has been the most meaningful. The first two are easy enough—didn't do much on NY Eve and watched "Sex and the City" and "Sopranos" DVDs on the Day. My CD player still has Christmas CDs, but I listed the other CDs piled around it—Petty, Phantom, Lovett, Sinatra, Cat Stevens. I'm so eclectic. I think he’s under the impression I'm more into music than I really am, but whatever—no need to bother clearing that up at this point. The travel question is more difficult. I wrote of my trip to the Pacific Northwest, and also said I'd like to return to Kauai with a date. Europe demands a return trip in the next few years—I haven't been there since law school in Italy in '92. I looked back at the basic profile on Rich and realize that music is important to him, so maybe I do need to clear up that misunderstanding. He's playing a guitar (apparently to his dog) in one photo and writes that he loves playing the guitar and writing and singing his own lyrics. Uh, oh—another serenader? Looking back at my own profile, though, I see no mention of music, so I don't know where he got the impression I'm a big music fan. In my short-answer questions for Rich, I asked just that, admitted music isn't a big part of my life, and wondered if that'd be a problem. I also asked if the kid thing would be a deal-breaker and, taking a more gentle tack, asked about his favorite memories from 2003. *** Rich responded within an hour or two, and I have to say his answers are well done. As far as the music issue, he pointed to my karaoke photo (I forgot it was posted on EH) but went on to say he doesn't think couples need to share every interest. He added: "You must be cool if you have a Sinatra CD." If he only knew I purchased it in tandem with an Alanis Morrissette CD. On the kid issue, he said he realized when he turned 40 that he might not have kids and "that is OK." He elaborated, echoing some of my thoughts on the topic: "Even if I met the right person today it would likely be years before we decided to have children and I can think of many reasons not to have children at the age of 43 or 44. I would love to travel more, retire early, and have more time with my partner so it is not a deal-breaker for me. In fact it may be a small relief that having children would not be required … " Gotta admire his honesty, and that he's thought it out, in terms of age and consequences. And early retirement always sounds good. Finally, he lists several favorite memories for 2003, including a party with friends, adopting his dog, and traveling to San Francisco. "I wish I had asked you that question," he wrote. I agree it's a decent question, one that I'll have to remember for the future, if I continue on EH. My subscription ends Jan. 12, and it's pretty pricey, considering how little success it's brought me. Anyway, Rich and I have moved to stage 4—open communication. I would initiate it, but I'm going to wait a bit. I don't feel inspired right now. I'm already debating sending Alan a cancellation email today. If it goes well with Joe tonight, I won't want to endure another date with a guy who hasn't interested me at all in two meetings. If it goes poorly with Joe, I'll probably be bummed out and just want to mope. Maybe I'll be fired up to have a good time with another guy in a misguided attempt to spite him, but I doubt it.Bemusednoreply@blogger.com